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Archive for September, 2010
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September 30, 2010

Transfer Of Power

After marching twenty million fellow citizens in lockstep for the last few decades fellow megalomaniac and fashion trend setter Lil’ Kim (a.k.a. Kim Jong-Il) is getting tired of the game and has decided that it’s time to initiate the rite of succession. Which is bad news for his youngest son Kim Fatty (a.k.a. Kim Jong-Un) who had to give up his X-Box, get a company haircut, and toss his Diesel jeans for a North Korean military outfit. We will all dearly missed you on COD Modern Warfare, I-Will-Nook-You#Western_Bitches!

Thanks to my new Korean language skills I was able to crash the recent party gathering (see pic above), and mingle with the new powers to [...]

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September 28, 2010

The Black Hole

Alright, despite the title nothing kinky this time – some folks seem to have taken offense to the kinky bear I posted this morning. Folks – it’s a teddy with a pouch in the front – let’s not overreact please. Last time I checked it was the 21st century. Besides, I have been posting scantily clad women here since the inception of this blog – ask yourself: which is really more offensive? 😉

I see excessive violence on television all day, guns galore and people being beat to a pulp on late afternoon shows. But show a half a booby or teddy bear with a vagina pouch in the front and the Spanish Inquisition is coming after you.

Anyway, not an [...]

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September 28, 2010

Some Teddy Pørn

In the past few days I started to sense a disturbance in the force which should not be ignored. After all – we are not bulls nor bears – we are stainless steel rats, and as such we always keep our little rodent brains on high alert. Therefore I am forced to expose my unfortunate readers to some disturbing images – please brace yourself.

I mean, that’s just wrong – is nothing sacred anymore? I am particularly offended by the suggestive use of the word ‘oversized’ – leaving very little room to one’s imagination as to the utility of this monstrosity. And to add insult to injury there’s a Houston Texans sticker on [...]

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September 27, 2010

Red Flag Day

The heat is on – and not just in the markets, it seems.  After having enjoyed almost spring like weather all summer here in Los Angeles, temperatures suddenly popped into the 100 degree (Fahrenheit) range just a few days into fall. Just in case things get out of control I have my put Red Flag Emergency Team on standby:

The selection criteria to join this exclusive unit are extremely stringent and only the most talented and well trained applicants gain acceptance after undergoing a long series of physical and psychological tests. As you can imagine the failure rate is high – and only the best make it to the bottom

Although a hot early fall may not be [...]

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