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Archive for September, 2010
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September 30, 2010

Transfer Of Power

After marching twenty million fellow citizens in lockstep for the last few decades fellow megalomaniac and fashion trend setter Lil’ Kim (a.k.a. Kim Jong-Il) is getting tired of the game and has decided that it’s time to initiate the rite of succession. Which is bad news for his youngest son Kim Fatty (a.k.a. Kim Jong-Un) who had to give up his X-Box, get a company haircut, and toss his Diesel jeans for a North Korean military outfit. We will all dearly missed you on COD Modern Warfare, I-Will-Nook-You#Western_Bitches!

Thanks to my new Korean language skills I was able to crash the recent party gathering (see pic above), and mingle with the new powers to [...]

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September 28, 2010

The Black Hole

Alright, despite the title nothing kinky this time – some folks seem to have taken offense to the kinky bear I posted this morning. Folks – it’s a teddy with a pouch in the front – let’s not overreact please. Last time I checked it was the 21st century. Besides, I have been posting scantily clad women here since the inception of this blog – ask yourself: which is really more offensive? ­čśë

I see excessive violence on television all day, guns galore and people being beat to a pulp on late afternoon shows. But show a half a booby or teddy bear with a vagina pouch in the front and the Spanish Inquisition is coming after you.

Anyway, not an [...]

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September 28, 2010

Some Teddy P├Şrn

In the past few days I started to sense a disturbance in the force which should not be ignored. After all – we are not bulls nor bears – we are stainless steel rats, and as such we always keep our little rodent brains on high alert. Therefore I am forced to expose my unfortunate readers to some disturbing images – please brace yourself.

I mean, that’s just wrong – is nothing sacred anymore? I am particularly offended by the suggestive use of the word ‘oversized’ – leaving very little room to one’s imagination as to the utility of this monstrosity. And to add insult to injury there’s a Houston Texans sticker on [...]

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September 27, 2010

Red Flag Day

The heat is on – and not just in the markets, it seems.┬á After having enjoyed almost spring like weather all summer here in Los Angeles, temperatures suddenly popped into the 100 degree (Fahrenheit) range just a few days into fall. Just in case things get out of control I have my put Red Flag Emergency Team on standby:

The selection criteria to join this exclusive unit are extremely stringent and only the most talented and well trained applicants gain acceptance after undergoing a long series of physical and psychological tests. As you can imagine the failure rate is high – and only the best make it to the bottom

Although a hot early fall may not be [...]

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