I woke up early this morning and as I opened my bedroom window I noticed a white unicorn in my yard crapping chocolate truffles. It looked up, gave me a big smile, and then rode off into the sky on a glittering rainbow. Not a bad way to start the day!

Take any modern retail trading platform and the ratio between views on the chart tab versus the on the trading tab settles in at somewhere around 7:1. In case you wonder – YES, I get off on exotic statistics, because that’s just how I roll.

Implied volatility has been dropping faster than an ACME anvil over the past two weeks, which stands in stark contrast to what I am seeing in the bonds market so the jury is still out whether or not we are looking at some bifurcation here (strange things happen sometimes) or if risk is being improperly handicapped. If it is the latter then we may see another Gamestop type situation unfold in the near term future – if it’s the former then retail traders are about to get a wedgie of biblical proportions.

Just ask the Fed and the answer should be ‘how many trillion would you need’? Which why it’s a bit puzzling that the old greenback actually seems to be bottoming out right now and may even be getting ready to put the squeeze on all those degenerate Euro fanboyz. As you can imagine the thought of not being taunted by my local ATM anymore fills me with much glee. But in the context of the overall market situation we’ve got a few charts to review. Let’s get to work.